Never Meant To Fail
by sunnyamazing
Summary: SamPhil: SongFic, Post-ep Russian Roulette, Phil wants to leave, but Sam won't let him, or will she?
1. Chapter 1

**Never Meant To Fail**

**A/N: I don't own these characters they belong to The Bill. The song used below is "Never Meant To Fail" by Alex Lloyd it is set after Russian Roulette but with a different ending.**

_There something I'm feeling_

_There's something that's wrong_

_These streets are revealing_

_In the early morn_

_The war was last night_

_These wounds are not healed_

_If we keep believing_

_Then we've got to feel_

Phil left Sam and Neil in their office, he couldn't believe that he still had a job, he had ruined things again. Nearly ended up getting himself killed again and for what some pretty faced French girl, who had wanted to use him so that she could run away with her husband's accountant. This morning, when he had £1.2 million pounds slung over his shoulder the only person that he knew to call was her, he had slept with someone else but it was still her who was on his mind. It may have been nearly a year since they tried to make their relationship work, and with the ending of the romance had come the ending of a friendship, which had been the most important one, he had had in years. He shook his head and returned to his desk and put his head into his hands.

_As it goes_

_By the story that's already told_

_Comes a time when we all must let go_

Sam sighed as Phil left her office, closing the door behind him. She watched him walk back into the office and shake his head. She wondered what he was thinking, whether Monica was another woman who he should never have been with. All day she had defended him, to anyone who would listen, even though now it seemed crystal clear that he had screwed up yet again. But this was Phil, the man who she had hated and then he was the man who had saved her. The man who had found her daughter with her and who she had held hands with when she thought the end of her life was near. Perhaps that was why she couldn't let go of him, but after today maybe she should just let go, forget who Phil was and just remember that today he slept with the wrong woman yet again.

_What happened to the story?_

_Discontent it cuts inside_

_It's not meant to be this lonely_

_We were never meant to fail_

Sam watched as Neil stood up and collected his things, he slipped out of the office, smiling at her as he left. Now she could think and no-one would be able to interrupt her. What had happened to her and Phil? What had happened to remaining friends? They had been enemies before, they weren't even able to remain in one room without sniping at each other. But last year they had been close, she had been closer to him than what she had been to anyone for a very long time. People hadn't been able to believe that they were the same two people from the past, but now almost one year later they were both lonely and their friendship had gone, disappeared without a trace. She stood up and walked towards the window, glancing out of the office, she caught his eye by accident and he quickly looked away. This is what they had become, another failed relationship to add to her list.

_There's something that's crawling_

_In my skin_

_Emotions are falling_

_As it begins_

_I lost all my virtues, long ago_

_I didn't want to hurt you but now we know_

Phil looked up and saw her looking at him, he couldn't even look back at her. He didn't want her pity, this was all of his fault, another screw up, another regret to add to the always increasing list. It was nothing new for him to get into bed with the wrong woman, the mothers of his children immediately sprang to his mind. He had become the person that Sam was afraid of, he wondered if he had still been with her, whether or not he would have ended up here. He saw her face when he was talking to Monica, he had ended up hurting her, he hadn't meant it, but he had and now there was nothing he could do.

_As it goes_

_By the story that's already told_

_Comes a time when we all must let go_

He had ruined everything now, it wasn't likely that she would ever trust him again. Perhaps it was time for a change, time to leave all of the past behind and try to move on.

_What happened to the story?_

_Discontent it cuts inside_

_It's not meant to be this lonely_

_We were never meant to fail_

Move on past the fact that once he had fallen in love with his enemy. But she hadn't fallen in love with him. The story of the playboy and the clever inspector, who had almost made it, but were now both left alone. He sighed and began to pick up his coat, but then stopped, he had nowhere to go, today had been the worst day he had, had in a very long time. The first time that he let himself be used by a woman, it was usually the opposite. He decided that the best place for him at the moment was somewhere where no-one knew who he was or what he was. He turned to his computer, he couldn't stay here any longer, he wouldn't be able to stand it once Stuart and the rest of them discovered the fact that Monica had used him. Perhaps he wasn't meant to be a police officer any longer, perhaps he belonged somewhere else. He pressed the button on the computer and heard the sound of the printer whirl from the other side of the room.

_As it goes_

_By the story that's already told_

_Comes a time when we all must let go_

Sam looked up as the door to her office swung open, it was him. Standing there holding a sheet of paper.

"Yes DS Hunter?" she questioned, wondering why he was still here, instead of returning home

"I have just come to give you this, I can't live like this any longer. Today I put people from here in danger again. I thought that people could change, but I guess they can't or perhaps it is me who can't" he said quietly as he dropped the paper onto her desk

Sam glanced down at the top, she couldn't believe what she was reading, she looked up towards him

"You were right about me Sam, long ago, I can't be trusted. I would have left you high and dry. I'm sorry for everything" and with that he turned and left the room

_What happened to the story?_

_Discontent it cuts inside_

_It's not meant to be this lonely_

_We were never meant to fail_

Sam felt a tear run down her cheek, then another. He wanted to leave, he didn't want to be here any longer, her best friend was leaving and she didn't even know if he knew that she still wanted to be his friend. That she still believed that he was capable of changing his ways. He was gone, it wasn't like his application to leave would be rejected, once the DCI and the Super discovered his questionable behaviour and with his previous issues they would perhaps be glad to see the back of him. But Sam didn't know how she felt, this wasn't the ending that she thought she would have with Phil, they weren't supposed to end up like this, but somehow they had and she wondered if only she knew what decision she made to end up here, because all she wanted to do now was change it.

_We were never meant to fail_

**So there it is, I think that it is a one shot for now, but if people like it, then it could probably be extended. Perhaps Sam can try to stop him from leaving and then they wont fail after all? I am sorry for the unhappy ending but I just had one in me after all. Please review and let me know what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all of my reviewers! Gemz, Lynsey, Leanne, Ella, Pippa, Laura and Sam! Because of you all I have decided to add a few chapters to this! Hope that you like this one! Please review!**

_As it goes_

_By the story that's already told_

_Comes a time when we all must let go_

Phil sighed as he left Sam in her office, he wanted to turn back, to see her reaction to his news. But he couldn't, he didn't want to know. He couldn't bear to look at her when he gave her that piece of paper. He just dropped it and left, he wondered if she believed him about how truly sorry he was, he hadn't meant to become this person again. He thought he had gotten rid of those bad habits a year ago, or perhaps even before. But one girl had fluttered her eyelids at him and he was back to old Phil again. He wondered where he could go now, he didn't feel like going home, there was no-one there, all there was, was a lifetime of guilt and too many things to remind him of all the mistakes he had made. He headed downstairs and pushed the doors open to the yard, he shivered as he brought his jacket closer to him. After today he needed a drink, he left his car in the yard and walked towards the Seven Bells. He pushed open the doors and walked to the bar, ordered himself a pint and sat down, lifted the glass to his mouth and drank quickly. A few more of those for the night and Monica would be long forgotten, but there would be one person who remained in his head, no amount of beer could get her out, he had tried that once before and all it had done was make him sick. She was firmly entrenched in his head, he couldn't let go of her, or at least he couldn't when he saw her everyday. Now that he had asked to leave, perhaps it would all be different.

_What happened to the story?_

Sam closed her eyes, everything was quiet in the office now. As usual there was no-one left but her. She wiped another tear away from her cheek as she remembered her first night with Phil. Her body was shaking as her hands clasped the glass in front of her, she couldn't look up, she was so scared. She had almost been shot, not for the first time, but this was different, this was a foreign country. No one knew that the two of them had been in that seedy pub if you could even call it that, well except for Cesar Nastase. She could hear herself speaking

**Flashback**

"_I'm cold" Sam said, her fear making her feel like she was going to run out of breath. She took the glass from him, but it continued to shake. She felt his strong hand on her back_

"_You're probably just in shock" she heard him say as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders_

"_I can't" she mumbled, she wanted to drink, but the simple task of getting her hand to her mouth was proving difficult_

"_Just try and calm down, shush, shush, shush" she could hear him telling her, she felt a little warmer now that his jacket was around her, but she was still terrified. Terrified that in that moment before she could have lost her life._

"_We nearly died. Two inches to my left and we" she just managed to get out of her mouth, feeling the tears beginning to well up_

"_We didn't though did we, were still here" he said to her trying to reassure her that everything was now going to be alright, no matter whether he believed it or not. She turned her face towards him and looked at him closely, searching his face for comfort._

"_Listen I am gonna protect you. I promise" he said to her quietly "I'll sleep by the door tonight, make sure that nobody comes in, but you gotta rest"_

_She nodded to what he told her, that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her, and somehow she felt safer, like she would be fine as long as he was near her._

"_Okay, thank you" she didn't know if thank you was the right word, but it was the only one that she could manage at this time_

"_What for?" he said to her, she wanted to say for everything. But looking deep into his eyes all she wanted to do was kiss him, she had wanted to for years not that she had ever allowed herself to admit it and for the first time this felt like the right moment. She leant in towards him and kissed him softly and then pulled away. She felt his hand on the back of her neck and realised how amazing it was to kiss Phil Hunter, she leant forward again and kissed him passionately, their tongues clashing with each others and her hand holding his tightly._

She had trusted her heart then, that wasn't something that she normally allowed herself to do. Her mind usually controlled all of her actions, especially the one made weeks later, when she had ran away. That was the decision she had made that had lead her here, alone with only memories in her head.

_Discontent it cuts inside_

Sam stood and walked to the window, looking outside into the street. She could make out a figure walking quickly out of the station. She watched as she expected him to turn and head for his car, but he just kept walking, buttoning his coat tightly as he wandered into the cold street. She wondered what he was thinking and whether or not he would have slept with Monica had the two of them still been together. For all of his faults in the past, somehow she still refused to believe that he was the same Phil Hunter who arrived here five years ago. All that had happened to him since he was here, had to have changed him. But what had he changed for, perhaps it was her, perhaps she was the reason that he became who he was in Romania, who he was when she was with Stuart, someone she could trust with her life, someone who knew all of her secrets. She turned back to her desk and sat back down, she saw the piece of paper in front of her, and she couldn't let him leave. Today would eventually be forgotten, it would become yesterday's story. Like Dennis Weaver, Ron Gregory and even Kate Maltby had all become before. This was Sun Hill, something unusual or unexpected happened here all of the time. She couldn't let him leave, let him walk out of her life and off to another station. He had never run away from anything in his life, why was he going to now? She reached for her coat and stood up, she knew where he would have gone, sometimes she thought she knew him better than she knew herself. She wasn't going to let him leave without answers, if she let him leave at all. She folded the paper and placed it into her pocket, glancing at it one last time as she did, for the first time she noticed that he hadn't even signed the bottom, she would have to find him now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to my reviewers for the previous chapter! Gem, Jilly, SP-always, Leanne and Barb.  
Sorry that this chapter took so long, but I waited until Australia had the screening of Russian Roulette, which we just had tonight!  
This is the final chapter! :) Hope that you like, and please review!**

**Never Meant To Fail**

**Chapter Three**

_It's not meant to be this lonely_

Phil swallowed the last mouthful of his second beer, he looked around the room. Everyone else had someone to talk to, someone to kiss softly on the cheek. He stood and headed back to the bar again, he could still hear that French accent in his head, her protests at him arresting her. He shook his head, this wasn't making him feel any better being here. It was making him feel more alone, he had alcohol at his place, he was alone there too, but at least there, there were no kissing couples and there wasn't going to be any there for awhile now. He had ruined everything, he turned and walked towards the door and pulled it open. He wandered back towards the station his head constantly looking at his shoes.

Sam wrapped her coat around her small frame, her heels clicking on the damp pavement below. She began to walk quickly hoping that she hadn't missed him or been wrong about where he was going. But her heart began to thump inside her chest when she saw him walking back towards her.

Phil looked up all of a sudden and found himself face to face with Sam

"What are you doing here?" he asked

"Coming to find you" Sam replied quickly

"Why? Why would you bother?" Phil replied quietly

"Because I can't accept this" Sam said pulling the paper from her pocket

"This place would be better off without me Sam, I mean Guv. I haven't learnt anything from my mistakes. You should accept it, let me leave. The life of both yourself and Neil would be easier without me"

"Perhaps it would. But you haven't signed this anyway" Sam said pointing to the empty dotted line

"Do you have a pen?" he asked quickly

"Here" she replied handing him one

Phil pulled the piece of paper from her hand and leaning against the wall he signed his name quickly and handed it back to her. He then turned to walk away from her.

Sam watched as he signed away his time at Sun Hill, then he began to leave her. Her hand held tightly to the paper and then she held it between her two hands and ripped it apart, into smaller and smaller pieces until there was nothing left of it.

Phil turned back around at the sound of ripping paper, he walked back towards Sam and stared at her.

"What are you doing? You wanted me to sign this and now you have torn it up. I really don't understand you" he said with a sigh

"You can't leave Phil. You just can't, this isn't you. You don't run away from anything, you never give up without a fight" Sam said pleadingly, staring into his eyes

"Why would you want me to stay? It is obvious that Neil wanted me turned over to the DPS today for this whole mess"

Sam felt her heart thumping inside her chest, she knew now why she couldn't let him leave. She had finally realised that she loved him, perhaps a little too late though. She felt that same feeling of letting her heart control her like it had on that terrifying night in Romania. She walked closer towards him and stood on the balls of her feet, she glanced up at him and placed one hand on his cheek, then she pulled him closer to her and kissed him, nibbling at his bottom lip. She felt him kiss her back and his warm hands wrap around her. When she eventually pulled away, she gasped for air and looking up at him she whispered "That is why I can't let you leave"

"I can't leave because you want to kiss me?" Phil said with small smile

"No you can't leave because I love you" Sam whispered quietly

"You what" Phil said

"I love you Phil, I should have said it months ago, but when you were missing today I thought that my heart was going to explode out of my chest and I am hoping that you still love me too. But if you don't then just walk away now, I will sign your papers and you can transfer tomorrow" Sam said as she turned away from Phil and leant against the wall of the station, her heart beating faster and faster in her chest.

Phil watched as Sam turned away from him, he thought he had misheard her, things hadn't been the same since they had broken up and he had missed having her to talk to and to joke around with. She now had that office, where she was locked away from him, always talking to Neil. Always siding with Neil, or so he thought. He scratched his head, he felt confused, Sam had told him that she loved him, after he had slept with another married woman, but last year she hadn't said it, when he was her boyfriend, when he had told her. He sighed, he had never understood women, so why should he start now. One thing he did know was that he didn't really want to leave Sam, he loved her too.

Sam sighed, nothing had happened, she hadn't even heard Phil move away, then suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. The hand then slid down her arm and reached for hers tightly, pulling her back towards him and into his arms. She glanced up at him and he smiled back down at her, "I love you too Sam" he whispered as he lent down to kiss her. Sam kissed him back, his hands running down her body pulling her closer to him.

"Please don't leave me" Sam whispered

"Then I won't" Phil whispered, "You tore my letter anyway" he said cheekily

"So I did" Sam replied, as she threw the torn papers onto the ground, and they fluttered to the ground, landing beneath the feet of the two of them as they smiled towards one another, perhaps wondering why it had taken them so long to get here.

_We were never meant to fail_


End file.
